Finding Your Soulmate Starts With Finding Yourself

Jan 09, 2026

For so long, many of us believe that finding our soulmate will finally make us whole. That once that person arrives, the emptiness will disappear, the longing will end, and life will feel complete.

But what if the real shift doesn’t happen when you meet your soulmate, what if it happens when you fall in love with yourself first?

The Shift That Changes Everything

Marci Shimoff’s (Founder of the Year of Miracles Program) Story

One of the most powerful shifts Marci shares is this realization:

“I fell in love with myself, and that changed everything.”

For years, she did deep spiritual and personal development work. On the surface, it looked like healing. But underneath, there was still an unconscious belief that a soulmate would fill the cup she hadn’t fully filled herself.

She stopped looking for someone, Sergio (her husband) or anyone else to complete her. Instead, she learned to fill her own cup. And that’s when everything changed.

Relationships Reveal Our Blind Spots

Before meeting her soulmate, Marci didn’t realize how much she was still looking outside herself for wholeness. And when she entered the relationship, it became clear over time: she was still expecting him to make her feel complete.

This is the beauty of relationships.

They don’t just bring love, they reveal where we’re not loving ourselves yet.

Our partners often mirror our blind spots. They show us the areas where we abandon ourselves, where we give our power away, or where we believe love must come from somewhere else.

When Pain Becomes a Turning Point

This Is My Story

For me, this lesson came after years in abusive relationships. It reached a breaking point, falling to my knees and asking, “God, what am I doing wrong?”

The answer came softly but clearly:

“You’re looking outside of yourself for love.”

That moment marked the beginning of true self-love, not surface-level affirmations, but deep inner work.

Self-Love Is the Real Work

Learning to love yourself is not easy.

It requires confronting limiting beliefs, old wounds, and patterns that once felt normal. It takes time, patience, and compassion.

But I must say it is so worth it. In fact, I even wrote about it, The Book on Loving Yourself.

This kind of self-love isn’t selfish. It’s sacred.

It’s learning to love who God created.

To see yourself as precious.

As a daughter of the King.

As someone worthy of love, peace, and joy, without earning it.

And Then… Love Finds You

Once I truly learned to love myself, I attracted my soulmate, not from desperation, but from wholeness.

That’s the paradox of love:

When you stop searching for someone to complete you, you become magnetic to the love meant for you.

When you’re at peace within yourself, you bring joy to others naturally. Your worth no longer depends on validation. You show up whole, grounded, and open.

The Truth About Finding Your Soulmate

Finding your soulmate isn’t about searching harder.

It’s about coming home to yourself.

When you love yourself deeply:

You stop settling
You stop chasing
You stop abandoning yourself

And you start attracting relationships that reflect your inner peace and worth.

If this resonates, there’s a small guide linked below to help you begin or deepen your self-love journey. May it bless you, and may you remember.

The love you’re seeking begins within you.