Values: Your Inner Compass for a Life Designed by You
Mar 20, 2025
When life feels messy or uncertain—especially after you’ve left a toxic relationship or outgrown an old version of yourself—one of the most powerful things you can do is reconnect with your values.
Values are more than nice words on paper. They’re the quiet truths that guide how you live, love, work, and choose. They’re your inner compass—helping you decide what really matters so you can build a life that feels right for you, not for anyone else.
How Discovering My Values Changed Everything
When I first started working with my coach, she asked me a simple question: “Do you know what your values are?” I stared at her blankly—I honestly had no idea.
She smiled, handed me a sheet with over 100 values on it, and said, “Pick 20 that resonate with you. Then sleep on it, and tomorrow narrow it down to your top 10.”
That exercise was eye-opening. She explained that when we understand what we truly value, we can start making decisions that align with those values. Suddenly, choices become clearer, and life feels less chaotic.
That was a powerful lesson—one I still use every day. My values have become my compass. Whether it’s a personal decision or a professional one, I ask myself: “Is this in alignment with what matters most to me?” And when the answer is yes, I move forward with peace and confidence.
What Are Values, Really?
Values are your deepest beliefs about what’s most important in life. They shape your decisions, your boundaries, and your sense of peace.
Examples of values might include:
🌱 Honesty
🌱 Freedom
🌱 Kindness
🌱 Family
🌱 Growth
🌱 Peace
🌱 Integrity
🌱 Courage
🌱 Faith
🌱 Contribution
When you live in alignment with your values, you feel whole—like your life and actions match your truth. When you don’t, you feel off-balance, resentful, or stuck.
Why Values Matter After a Toxic Season
Toxic relationships, controlling environments, or old patterns often disconnect you from your own values. Maybe you learned to keep the peace instead of speaking your truth. Maybe you bent your values to please others. Over time, you might forget what you really stand for.
But here’s the good news: your values never disappear. They’re always waiting for you—quietly guiding you back home to yourself.
How to Reconnect with Your Core Values
✨ 1. Reflect on What Truly Matters
Ask yourself: What makes me feel proud? Fulfilled? At peace? When was the last time I felt truly me? What was I doing? Who was I with?
✨ 2. Look at the Non-Negotiables
What are you unwilling to compromise anymore? Maybe it’s honesty, respect, or freedom. These clues point straight to your core values.
✨ 3. Name Your Top 5
Write down a big list of words that resonate with you. Circle the five that feel non-negotiable. These are your compass points.
✨ 4. Check Your Alignment
Ask yourself: Am I living in a way that honors these values? Where am I out of alignment? What needs to change?
✨ 5. Make Small, Brave Shifts
Choose one area of your life—relationships, work, self-care—and take one small action to realign with your values.
Living Your Values in Everyday Life
Values aren’t just nice ideas. They come alive through action:
🌿 If you value peace, you might say no to drama or protect quiet time.
🌿 If you value growth, you might sign up for a class or read a new book.
🌿 If you value freedom, you might create clear boundaries or build financial independence.
🌿 If you value family, you might carve out intentional time for connection.
Big change isn’t required—small, consistent choices build a life that matches your heart.
When You Live by Your Values
🌟 Decision-making feels clearer
🌟 Boundaries feel more natural
🌟 Confidence grows—because you’re living your truth
🌟 Relationships become healthier—because you attract people who respect your core self
🌟 Life feels less chaotic and more meaningful
A Gentle Reminder
Your values are yours. They don’t have to make sense to everyone. You’re not selfish for protecting them. They are your guide, your anchor, and your permission slip to build a life that feels right for you.
When you’re clear on your values, you’re less likely to lose yourself in what other people want. You become the designer of your own life—one choice, one boundary, one value at a time.
Closing Words: Live True, Live Free
No one else can define what truly matters for you. Reclaim your values. Let them guide you. Trust that living your truth will always lead you home to the life you were meant to create.
✨ Your values are your compass.
✨ Your truth is your freedom.
✨ Your life is yours to design.
Denise Willis
© 2025 Life by Design
www.deniseannwillis.com